i love you

if You & I both know that this is Over,
Why don’t We Just Call it all off?
I’ve decided to let you off Easy,
no Public Humiliation.
I’ve Long since learned, This
is an ‘in person’ thing.

If Only you would Stop Avoiding me.

if you think about it sometimes people will never surprise you. they will do exactly what you thought they were gonna do. they will never change, and you can never truly restart until you start running out of time. what not everyone realizes is that not everyone has unlimited time. some people have decisions to make and a whole lifetime to live in less than a year. I know with me you’d be more than a year, but eventually i will lose you. It will hurt more if we aren’t us. you can try and try to be yourself and some people just don’t understand what that means. you can hope and wish and want something to be as perfect as you want, but sometimes you just aren’t a match. you can have great tension in all the right places, but needs and wants are things that get crossed in relationships. you WANT control, you NEED affection. & while I try to make something work that i’m uncertain of i could be loving you. so why aren’t i?

tears hit the keys instead of my fingers, it’s a slower patter, the familiar sounds of typing
replaced by half choked sobs & cries of a mourner
who should already be gone.
if i left, i wonder who exactly would miss me.

where do i go from here?

to quell the beating of my heart that causes angry breath to come from my chest,
i simply sit lost in your touch, hand to face i miss the places that we lived.

i guess to be able to leave,
to just run off; I had to have nothing.
I do have a job, which allows me to work anywhere.
I do have friends, which allows me partners in crime.
I do have courage, which allows me to live without you.
I Do Want Adventures.

i can hear their muffled voices in the basement,
and it bothers me that i’m not included, (but not really),
they understand each other, but people here don’t understand me.
in the City everyone pretends to be friends,
and we all talk about each other behind their backs,
but we don’t judge when one of us goes off the deep end,
Pills in their pockets and flight in their heart.
When Multiple Sex Partners show up in a circle of friends,
but her Boyfriend lives down the street.
When the crazy one talks about nothing except leaving
for greener pastures.
We are all Fucked up here, I suppose that’s why we liken Cities to underworlds.

you aren’t as friendly as you used to be,
but that’s probably because i’m paying more attention.
I promise this will not be a repeat
of Friends In Places they shouldn’t be.
where Boy thinks Girl knows whats up,
But Girl used to like girls, so “who knows?”,
& Boy Is just a terrible face with lots of confidence.
You’ve told me your secrets & have kept mine;
Isn’t that what friends are for?